With it being Mother’s Day today I wanted to share Erma Bombeck Mothers Day Column which first appeared in 1974 along with a really nice interview about it done by CBS Sunday Morning in 2010. Grab a cup of hot coffee or hot tea (or even diet-coke) and enjoy today’s longer blog post.
The stamp shown is the 3-cent stamp entitled “Mothers of America” issued for use on Mother’s Day May 02, 1934.
Erma Bombeck Mothers Day Column
This YouTube from CBS Sunday Morning includes her grown-up children recalling the year they forgot Mother’s Day and they share how they never did that again, realizing they had made her cry. It is a really great story produced by Mo Rocca. You’ve got to watch it!
When God Created Mothers
“When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of “overtime” when the angel appeared and said. “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.”
And God said, “Have you read the specs on this order?” She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts…all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands.”
The angel shook her head slowly and said. “Six pairs of hands…. no way.”
It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” God remarked, “it’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.”
That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel. God nodded.
One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?’ when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. ‘I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word.”
God,” said the angel touching his sleeve gently, “Get some rest tomorrow….”
I can’t,” said God, “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick…can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger…and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower.”
The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed.
But tough!” said God excitedly. “You can imagine what this mother can do or endure.”
Can it think?”
Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator.
Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek.
There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model.”
It’s not a leak,” said the Lord, “It’s a tear.”
What’s it for?”
It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.”
You are a genius, ” said the angel.
Somberly, God said, “I didn’t put it there.””
― Erma Bombeck,
I’m closing today’s blog post – Erma Bombeck Mothers Day Column – with wishing each of you a Happy Mother’s Day, especially to Mom’s, to-be Mom’s, to-a-dear-friend-about-to-adopt-Mom, and this includes girl friends who are cat-Moms, and dog-Moms, and future dog-Moms – to each of you sending well wishes today. Happy Mother’s Day Mom!
Attribution & Thank you to the following who are referenced today in
Erma Bombeck Mothers Day Column
YouTube CBS Sunday Morning Erma Bombeck: The Mother of all Humorists posted by Mo Rocca 180; Uploaded on May 14, 2010 “My visit to the Erma Bombeck Writer’s Conference at Erma’s alma mater, the University of Dayton.” @
Image above of Cover When God Created Mothers by Erma Bombeck as shown on Goodreads
Image above upper right, U.S. Stamp #737 – 1934 3c Mothers of America, Rotary press Mystic Stamp Company, May 2, 1934, “Issued for use on Mother’s Day mail in tribute to the Mothers of America, and illustrates a reproduction of the painting by James A. Whistler, “Portrait of My Mother.””
Addendum May 12, 2019: for SEO header image swapped out with When God Created Mothers by Erma Bombeck, instead of Mother’s of America stamp.